35 Under 35 Coaches Leadership Institute

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you do not organize yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not true. You actually do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for childbirth, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there is a lot less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a real aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s really how you see to start with. And so if you set it a job, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, and that’s why you must bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anythingthat specific phrase too far, you need to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.