Andrea Harvey Leadership Coach

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It is that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It’s something like, look around for something that disturbs you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there’s some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you can just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you were coming to see me for childbirth, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there is a lot less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and start fixing up the things that are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a job, especially you’ve got to be real about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get 1 thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat particular phrase too far, you want to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.