Board Certified Career & Leadership Coach

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not true. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this simplest thing for us to do would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through daily. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this man who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That is actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you have to be genuine about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get 1 thing through your mind and as a result of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there is a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat specific phrase too much, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.