Coaching For Success Book

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you don’t organize yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, weren’t all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this man who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for a decade. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a result of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anything, even that specific phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.