Executive And Leadership Coaching

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and start fixing up the things which are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That’s really how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a job, especially you’ve got to be real about it, and that’s the reason why you must bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get 1 thing through your mind and as a result of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat particular phrase too far, you need to bind it together with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.