Gary Hedges Leadership Coach

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It is that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It’s something like, look around for something that disturbs you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there is some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at the moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through daily. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there is a great deal less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and as soon as you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That’s really how you see to start with. And so in case you set it a job, especially you’ve got to be real about it, and that’s the reason why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anythingthat specific phrase too much, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.