George Mason Leadership Coaching

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It’s something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at the moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for childbirth, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting out that, then you can extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to remain within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a name, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That is actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be real about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get 1 thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anythingthat specific phrase too much, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.