Georgetown Executive Leadership Coaching

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things that are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a name, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That is actually how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a task, especially you have to be genuine about it, which is why you must bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get one thing through your mind and as a result of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anything, even that particular phrase too far, you need to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.