Georgetown University Certified Leadership Coach

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you don’t organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something that disturbs you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there is some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be for you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there’s a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and start fixing up the things which are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You have to stay in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s really how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, which is the reason why you must bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get one thing through your head and as a result of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anything, even that specific phrase too far, you want to bind it together with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.