Institute Of Coaching Leadership Forum

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you don’t organize yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you may say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at the moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you were coming to see me for childbirth, this simplest thing for us to do would just be for you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there is a lot less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting out that, then you can extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and start fixing up the things that are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a real aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That is really how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, which is the reason why you must bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get 1 thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anything, even that specific phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.