Kristine Shipman Executive Leadership Coach 858-292-3813

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you don’t organize yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not true. You actually do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room just like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, weren’t all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things that are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That is actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be real about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get one thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anythingthat particular phrase too far, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.