Laissez Faire Leadership Coaching

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not true. You actually do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something that disturbs you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at the moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You have to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That’s actually how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a job, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get 1 thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anything, even that specific phrase too far, you want to bind it together with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.