Leadership Coaching Coaching

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room just like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there’s a great deal less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a real aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That is really how you see to start with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be real about it, and that’s why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anything, even that specific phrase too far, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.