Leadership Coaching Steps

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you do not organize yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room just like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there is a lot less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then you can extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things that are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to stay within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That is actually how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a job, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a result of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anything, even that specific phrase too much, you need to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.