Leadership Styles Directing Coaching Facilitating Delegating

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It is that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not true. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there’s a great deal less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re willing to consider yourself itself and start fixing up the things which are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to remain in your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That is actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a job, especially you’ve got to be real about it, which is why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you have all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get one thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anythingthat particular phrase too much, you need to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.