Leadership Team Building & Coaching Skills Course Red Lion Inn

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you don’t organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not true. You actually do care about that because if you are in pain, you may care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you have not, there is some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there’s a lot less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and start fixing up the things that are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for a decade. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a job, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you have all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get 1 thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat particular phrase too much, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.