The New Psychology Of Success Chapter 1 The Mindsets

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It is that if you don’t organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you are in pain, you may care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things that are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be real about it, which is the reason why you must bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get one thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anything, even that specific phrase too much, you need to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.