Torch Leadership Coaching

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you do not organize yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It’s something like, look around for something that disturbs you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there is a lot less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a real aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That is actually how you see to start with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be real about it, and that’s why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you have all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get 1 thing through your mind and as a result of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat particular phrase too far, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.