Wharton Leadership Coaching

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you do not organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there is some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, weren’t all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there’s a great deal less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself itself and start fixing up the things that are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain in your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That’s actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a job, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get 1 thing through your head and as a result of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anything, even that particular phrase too much, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.