Women’s Leadership Podcast Executive Coaching

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there is some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting out that, then you can extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You have to remain within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That is actually how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, and that’s the reason why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get one thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anything, even that particular phrase too much, you want to bind it together with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.